I stink…. There’s too many smells, not enough milk, and the boobs are still getting BIGGER??

Ok it’s WEEK SEVEN and the baby is about the size of a Rasberry? Blueberry or some other type of small colourful berry. The important thing is it’s sweet and still there.

ALL IS GOOD, or at least on track.

I am considering drafting up a media release for when we go public, to alert the appropriate authorities to our pregnancy, until then please remember this is not yet common knowledge so you have to keep it under your respective blog hats.

Just when you thought they can’t get any bigger…


I think this is breaking the laws of physic’s and I am not sure how is that even possible. I’m thinking soon it maybe possible to stand next to them and have my photo taken saying I’ve been there!

I’ve tried lifting them and they are HEAVY, like sandbags.

I held them up in the shower to give my wife some relief but after somewhere between 2 – 4 minutes I was very ready to stop in truth I was getting  a sore back.

Women of the world you have my complete sympathy on this one.

SO much so…

Right now if my wife decided  she would like to buy a bra which is

– extra heavy duty

– with compensating shock absorbers

– and / or counterweights

– and / or some sort of boobs support jockey wheel

I’d just say yes then ask what size, colour and research the best quality one and then I ‘d glady go and get it for her.

But since the best you can get is a well fitted bra she’ll have to settle for that.

Guys I think there is some room for more scientific experiments and or products here.

She is developing a pregnant pudge, it’s exactly in the right spot (goodo) and seems to be taking the right sort of shape. I’m trying to talk her into letting me take a photo.

Next to her nose…. She smells everything!!!

She has overnight become a scent hound.

She definately hasn’t become a beagle as beagles eat everything they smell and can get near. No she’s smelling a lot of stuff and doesn’t want any of it. Including me.

Apparently I stink, but this is nothing new….

I’ve stunk forever it’s just now it makes her want to dry reach?????

I can only assume that this is whenever my deoderant is getting the slightest bit on the used side. I must say that having your wife want to dry reach at you, and on you  is difficult,  but is strangely becoming more and more normal day by day.

One thing I have read in Pregnancy books which seems to be a re-occurring theme is this.

“try substituting an apple cut up into small pieces she maybe craving sugar or instead suggest going for a romantic walk.”

A ROMANTIC WALK. okaaaaaaay.

My wife has two concrete bags on her chest and is constantly wanting to puke on me, at me, or just around me….and you (the person who wrote the book not you gentle blog reader) want me to lead her off on some romantic walk.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh YEAH! ? ! ? ?.

No. no. NO.

See the problem is that they have to include healthy advice as the book is written by Doctors and they don’t wish to be sued.

Personally I think it should say… Give her a fresh crossaint a flower and ever so lovingly hand her

the Xbox or Dvd Remote gently whilst

spraying yourself with deoderant and telling her you love her.

We’ve both been reading up on pregnancy and I’ve almost watched all of the Pregnancy for Dummies (strangely this was helpful) DVD.

I am currently reading a book called “How to keep a pregnant woman happy” which my wife got out for me at the Library.

This book is GOLD advice for men.

Yes it’s a little dated and the version I am reading was actually written by a monkey on a typewriter but strangely not much has changed in the process of pregnancy.

The main procedures and problems are still the same. As a bonus for Guys it’s kind of  written like a workshop manual. It doesn’t need to be read from cover to cover. You can simply look up the answer and look like you know what your talking about.

You can look well versed in the pregnancy thing..

You too can look like a pompous ass who knows everything

and you can do it in the style of the 1950’s.  After you’ve reeled off the right answer…… you can both sit back and have a cigarette, knowing it’s good for you and the baby. Ahhh.

My brother in laws wife is pregnant too.

They got married and seemingly instantly she got pregnant (Man that would be nice) for us it was much harder.

Anyway turns out she’s at 11 weeks now 4 weeks further on than us. And it turns out she’s probably going to the same hospital we are going to. So after ten years of hoping for grandchildren I hope both the Grandma’s are up for some baby juggling.

One thing i have noted we are consuming a LOT more milk these days I don’t know why this is but I hypothesize that this is what is making the boobies bigger? Are they like storage vats?

Thoughts and comments appreciated!

Post you later.

4 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    debbieh79 said,

    The boob thing is crazy. I know how your wife feels.

    I am just over 8 weeks and mine are getting bigger and bigger with seemingly no end in sight! That in itself would be great if they were not so sore! honestly, after removing my heavy duty bra that basically keeps them locked in one place, i feel like Mike Tyson has gone three rounds with each breast! It is strange to feel bruised and battered but without having the marks or bruises!

    Apparently it starts getting better around 12 weeks though so only about a month to go!
    Good luck!


  2. 3

    Brea said,

    As far as the smells around you are concerned, one of the things you may want to start doing is to begin washing all the clothes, towels, etc., anything that touches skin on a regular basis with whatever you plan on using for the baby when it arrives. Dreft is specially formulated to be mild, and hypoallergenic, plus the added bonus of being non-scented.

    You might also want to help her join a swim class for mommies-to-be, as the bouancy of the water helps to take -pounds- off for her for a while. Even just getting in the water is soothing, as long as the person leading the class keeps the exercises to the minimum stress.

    Good luck, and congrats on the soon-to-be!

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