WAR with Mice, Morning sickness? AND baby shopping……..The Horror OHHH I just HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING???

Ok it’s week 7 in the most wanted pregnancy in the world.

Life is great and the reality of creating a life after 8 years of thinking this was impossible without expensive, intrusive medical assistance is starting to settle in.

On waking I ask the missus how she is… she says to me morning “I think i feel better today honey,  the morning sickness has shifted a bit.” 60 seconds later she’s gone to the toilet……..there’s that horrible and slightly furious noise.

The morning sickness is still most definately with us. 🙂 I hate to hear her being sick,  actually I don’t like anyone being sick. I don’t like blood or anything along those lines, I’d make a terrible nurse, doctor or anything else which includes bodily functions.

Since winter has come we have been visited a few times by mice. They move in after the first rains of winter. Where we live is kind of rural so mice, mosquitoes, and foxes are not uncommon.

These are field mice in particular small generally inoffensive, kind of cute,  and in my shed generally which i can absolutely live with. BUT of late they have been quite intrusive, a whole family decided to move in to our house and they did so in a day.

I was just pouring a glass of milk just about to go to bed when a family of about 5 mice hop in through the dog door completely unanounced, how rude!

They ran straight up the corridor and almost into the kitchen. I moved slightly and I think I was about to say “err ” or flap my arms in a disapproving manner when there was an “EEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeK!”

The “EEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeK” came directly from the first mouse.  About this point I find out that mice have both traction control and have completed the advanced driver training course.

The mouse braked hard and then pulled on it’s mousey handbrake, it performed an almost perfect 180 impressive! But what was more impressive was all of the mice followed in formation. This was an incredibly adept bunch of mice. Maybe Rally mice?

They ran back out the way they came in and hopped out of the dog door,  the last one as it was going out,  hit the dog door flap. It made quite a thud,  then it fell back,  shook itself and finally hopped out.  I think this was one of the most random things I have seen in a while and no-one else saw it.  I laughed then but I am not laughing now as I am battling with them now.

Even though it’s kind of inevitable in the rural setting we have,  I simply cannot accept the idea of mice and baby sharing the same house. It shall not be.

So I am declaring WAR!!

on the mice to make sure by the time this kid arrives the mice are evicted or extinguished their choice.

I have today invested in a LOT of plastic tubs and cleansed our pantry which has been ransacked over the last couple of nights. I’m sure they are having some sort of Mouse house Party in there….strangely they seem prone to eating pasta? Why pasta? I thought cheese was their thing?

I’ve also invested some money in mousey traps. I set them up in our pantry (I didn’t put on fatigues or camoflauge) and I waited.

Later I heard a snap and an EEeeeeeeeK. I went to have a look at the result and I was baffled??????  There was a MOUSETRAP with a stick of spaghetti in it????  WTF>  Is this mouse screwing with me or what?

It looked to me like the mouse must have been chewing on some pasta and then thought hey I’ll dip it in some peanut sauce stuff over there yummy!

Anyway moving on…

I have some lawn which badly needs attacking with a whipper snipper / or weed wacker whatever your comfortable with. It just keeps getting longer, it’s winter here so I have to choose my moments between the rain drops.

The wife makes lunch and I step through the door. I barely get through the door and…….. YOU STINK

of WHAT?

YOU SMELL LIKE GRASS

Grass?

Grass??

Of course I smell like Grass…

I didn’t realise that Grass was a smell capable  of being an offensive or negative smell??

And B.O…..

Ok I know I have man-stink or FUNK  as some people call it

and I admit at times it can get pretty bad.

This was not one of those times it was just after a shower and a very short amount of work maybe 15 minutes worth. So after a quick cheese and something sandwich it was back to the shower so my wife can bear it when we go shopping.

We had to do some food shopping and I think more than anything curiousity got the better of us both and so we ended up at about 5 shops looking in the maternity and baby section.

I have previously commented on infrastructure and now I realise the FULL mindbending extent of the horror.

<insert horror music>

In front of me are row after row,  lifetimes worth of  stuff,  and things I’ve never seen which we may purchase if we may so choose or if we need?

Prams,  Bottles,  Baby Capsules,  Nipples (no the plastic ones),  Baby Bouncers,  Baby Capsules that fit into Prams, Cots, Nappies……….

I am staggered by the amount of STUFF it’s possible to purchase,  in this realisation I have also worked out I HAVE NO IDEA what the hell I am doing here.

I say this to the wife and she asks me to research………….

the standards which cover Prams

and which ones are and aren’t approved?

Of course I realise this is just something to keep me occupied………. and they all have to be above standard otherwise they can’t be sold in reputable stores

but in any case I appreciate her trying to involve me.

I think next time I’ll keep it to myself or blog it instead.

Keep you posted.

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1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Your blog is highly entertaining. I enjoy reading it. Again, congratulations.


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